Sunday, September 04, 2005

Dissimulate

It’s been so long since I took the time to write a post, but one has been brewing in my head for days, if not weeks. I have so many topics to speak about and don’t have any idea of where to start or where to end. First topic? Betrayal . . . a funny word. Webster’s defines betray as the following:

Betray >verb 1 act treacherously towards (a person, country, etc.) by revealing information to or otherwise aiding an enemy. 2 be disloyal to. 3 unintentionally reveal; be evidence of.

I can define it in a much more simple manner. My Dad has had a long standing quote that sticks out to me at this very moment . . . "One lie will cause doubt to 1000 truths." In this case, it’s so fitting. Life will never be the same again and at my lowest, I was kicked in the gut by someone who loved me. I know now that I had mistaken love for misguided intentions of personal gain. There has been betrayal in the highest form and I am too weak to do anything about it. I don’t know who to reach out to, I don’t know what to ask for. What I do know is that we need help. I need someone to hold me and promise to never let go, even when I want to just drift off. We need help, not more hurt.

Life is full of curve balls and another has just been thrown at us, achieving a bull’s-eye hit upon impact. The last two weeks have been full of days that have been hard . . . Mom’s 61st birthday and the one month anniversary of Kay’s passing among the biggest . . . soon will be the anniversary of Karen’s passing and shortly after that, my Dad’s birthday.

I know most of you are wanting to know what was the cause of my sudden and unexplained absence. If only it was that simple . . . please know that I was safe and well-taken care of. So many of you called to check on my safety and became concerned upon not being able to reach anyone in the family. Please know that the remaining three of us are as safe as life will allow and we were together.

I would like to take a moment and thank all of you who left comments, instant messaged, or called in regards to my absence. My thanks to Ria who did a fine job of keeping the updates current as life and circumstances allowed.

I have so much left to say and not one more drop of energy to type it in. I promise, another update tomorrow.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a swell blog here! Without doubt I will visit your site again ! I have a angina symptoms site. It well-nigh reports a lot that concerns angina symptoms stuff. If you have the chance, your are welcome to come and check it out.

4:04 PM  
Blogger Shelly said...

Due to the volume in spam, there is now a word verification system in place. When you leave your comment, just enter the word that appears under your name which will verify you aren't posting an automatic message.

Stupid trolls.

8:39 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home